I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard “Why can’t these two characters who have been friends forever just remain friends? Why do they need to start dating?” Or “It would be great if these characters maintained a close platonic relationship.”
I think this topic is a rather slippery slope because there are people and relationships that fall everywhere along the line of transitioning from friends to romantic partners.
There are people who will insist that you can’t be friends with a member of the opposite sex because it will always lead to being “more than friends.” These people will see any relationship that develops from a friendship as “proof” that they are right.
There are also people who believe that it makes more sense for people to decide they want a romantic partner they know, instead of only dating people they just met recently. In this case, it seems more likely that people who have been friends for years might make ideal partners. They already know they get along with each other.
In real life, things are often unpredictable. Some people marry their high school sweethearts. Other people marry someone they meet in or after college. Other people don’t marry until later in life, if they marry at all. Sometimes, strange circumstances lead people to reconnect after years.
It seems like there is no reason fiction can’t be just as variable. I know for my main character, she feels like it would be weird pursuing a serious relationship with someone she just met. But that doesn’t mean she intends to date all of her male friends. It simply means that she’s more likely to seek a romantic partner from someone she is already friends with.
It is often said that our significant others are not just our romantic interests, they are also our best friends, along with many other descriptors. Sometimes our best friends have been with us for decades, and other times our best friends are people with whom we develop an instant connection. This seems like it could provide just as much variation for relationships in real life, for our original characters, and for others’ characters in books, movies, etc.
What are your thoughts who should be relationship material? Do you think friends should stay friends? Or do you think the people/characters who make good relationship material are decided by circumstances beyond our individual control?
I would love to hear from you!
~ Theresa
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I think it should depend on the character. Have some of each! One character is more attracted to people they are already comfortable with. Another likes the excitement of everything being new with someone. Another may just bounce around flirtatiously and be perfectly content to never settle (which I think leads to awesome conflict if someone else is interested in that character who DOES want to settle down).
Yeah, that’s an excellent point! Having that kind of variety would certainly make for some interesting dynamics and could even add some splendid tension, as you mentioned. 🙂
We have a variety in our D&D group (which is very much like collaborative writing). One very committed to someone they’ve known for years, one who is flirty and has no attachments, but with people getting attached to her, one that just isn’t interested in anyone, and one that honestly? We have no idea lol. The differences have made for some fun scenarios.
Oh, I’m sure. That sounds like a blast. Collaborative efforts always seem to lead to some fascinating results, especially when the characters provide their own input, as we’ve seen. Lol.
It definitely is! Yeah, sometimes the characters just. Do their own thing. lol
Haha. That they do… that they do. 🙂